entertainment industry coach question 631: What's your favorite Thanksgiving tradition?

This wasn't a question sent to me by one of you, it was a Facebook status shared by a friend who got about 54 responses. Here's why that's important (but first my favorite tradition):

My favorite Thanksgiving tradition is eating twice. I love Thanksgiving food, and for some reason it's one of those holidays that although called "Thanksgiving Dinner," always winds up being served between 3-4pm. In my book that's lunch. But it's all good because, while I do stuff myself, I don't have to go too far, because I know I'm going to get to eat it all again around 9pm. Then I'm stuffed. That doesn't stop me from having it for breakfast though. And when it's all gone, I wonder, "why can't I just make these dishes when it's not Thanksgiving?" I resolve to do it, but never do.

1. It's important, because people, myself included, like to share their stories, hence the 54 responses (which I'm sure have doubled since I read it this morning).

2. If you know that people respond to these types of questions, you can ask them on your FB wall and get to know your "friends" better. If you're working to know your entertainment industry "friends" better, you will change the question to: What have you done on Thanksgiving, when you were on a job and away from home?

See how easy it is to connect with people in a deeper way?

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I'm grateful that you're out there reading my posts and sending me questions so I can be of service to you.

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For more tips and articles by top entertainment industry career coach, The Greenlight Coach, visitwww.TheGreenlightCoachBlog.com

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entertainment industry coach question 629:What is the best way to write a letter to start a relationship with a CD, director or agent and...

... not make it about me, me, me?

The answer to that is make it about them, them, them! When you are approaching someone to begin a relationship, you want to offer help, or ask for something they can say yes to, which means: DON'T ASK FOR WORK or A JOB in the first few contacts. Build the relationship first.

So tell them in your initial letter: who you are, where you are in your career and where you want to be.

Then: Tell them why you're writing to them (what you want or can do for them) and WHY THEM PERSONALLY. This is where you make it about them, them, them.

Remember to give your contact information as well as a date when you plan to follow up with them.

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For more tips and articles by top entertainment industry career coach, The Greenlight Coach, visitwww.TheGreenlightCoachBlog.com

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entertainment industry coach Question 405: How do I go from being a big fish in a small pond to Los Angeles?

Strategically! Do some ground work in LA before making the move. If you’re doing well where you are, save your money and start building relationships with people who live in LA. If you move here cold, with no contacts, you’ll literally be starting from nothing and it can take 2-5 years to build up your career and that’s if you’re working strategically.

For more tips and articles by top entertainment industry career coach, The Greenlight Coach, visitwww.TheGreenlightCoachBlog.com

To stay current on The Greenlight Coach's speaking engagements, recommendations, and work success articles, sign up for her free newsletter at www.TheGreenlightCoach.com and get a great bonus 1-hour MP3 on creating powerful business partnerships when you do!

entertainment industry coach question 308: How do I deal with people in power, making advances when I'm not interested?

The actual question read: As a young female in the business, I find myself having to deal with flirty men a lot. While I have no interest in them romantically, I can't rule out the possibility that today, or even down the road, they can help to get me a job, as I rely on others and word of mouth. How do I handle these situations without having to lie about being in a relationship or loose the possible connection?

Because this affects both genders in more ways than one, I thought I'd answer it in a more general way. While this does run rampant in our industry, it is by no means exclusive to our industry. You could handle these situations with confidence, humor, and grace. It's actually very personal.

While I'm sure I've experienced this, I can't recall a time, because I always charm my way out of these uncomfortable situations using humor. That's my personal style. The bottom line is, if the only reason I was going to get hired was if I "went above and beyond the call of duty," I wouldn't trust the person who was putting me in that position. Not that I would do it, I'm just saying, who's to say that they're going to follow through after you do?

Did I mention I hate this subject? It comes up a lot and I've put it off until question 308... geeesh.

Anyway, if you do not choose to sleep your way to the top (though some are fine making that choice), then stay away from the sleezeballs that will put you in that position. If it's not a sleezeball, but someone who is genuinely interested in you, and the feelings aren't mutual, tell him/her that you start all relationships by getting to know someone as a friend. Then you can maintain the relationship, and either enjoy a blooming friendship, or perhaps your feelings will grow into more. If it's as you say, "flirty men," flirt back. Two can play at that game. Just know when to put the brakes on. Model a Texan Gal... they're fantastic at it!

Perhaps a Relationship Coach or a Human Resource Person can chime in, in my comments section.

For more tips and articles by top entertainment industry career coach, the Greenlight Coach, visit www.TheGreenlightCoachBlog.com

entertainment industry coach question 265: Should I be building my reel in film school or taking business classes?

It depends on the business classes your film school offers. You should absolutely be focused on the business side of the industry while in film school, however if the marketing, sales, and business classes are not directly related to the entertainment industry, you will have to get really clear on how what they're teaching, applies to you.

Film school IS for building your reel, perfecting your craft, building relationships, obtaining mentors, and preparing for entering the industry armed with an understanding of the business.

For more tips and articles by top entertainment industry career coach, the Greenlight Coach, visit www.TheGreenlightCoachBlog.com

question 186: How do you deal with a boss you can't stand? part 2

Okay, so I have more details from yesterday's question asker. He works in a "department" where his boss (the head of the department) is a screamer, who emotionally and even physically injures people. That said, his boss is hugely "in demand," so the person who asked me this question fears leaving because the perks of working in this department are: lots of money, good contacts for the future when he moves up in classification, steady work, and the rest of the crew are like family.

So here are some tips for tolerating your boss:

1. Immediately start building relationships outside of your "crew family" so that you may find yourself in an equally prestigious work opportunity with a better boss. Part of this is to be meeting people that make you happy and inspire you.

2. Start planning for your future by building a reel. This will make your current job feel like a day-job while you pursue something you're more passionate about. Create a 1-2 year plan to be out of there! It will give you something to live for (I'm being dramatic, but as I said yesterday, I've been there).

3. Because you said he is a screamer, but never mentioned you feel your job is in jeopardy, recognize that he's just a schmuck and his screaming is due to lack of management skills and most likely a small.......... sense of self. I know, that doesn't help in the moment, HOWEVER, on top of recognizing this, I want you to create an emotional anchor* that you can fire off when he's done.

What's most important is your health! Working for someone like this can literally be hazardous to your health because of suppressed emotions and stress. So you MUST find a healthy outlet.

*an anchor is a tool to change your emotional state. For more information on how to create an anchor, contact me or order my book And...Action! at Amazon.com

For more tips and articles by top entertainment industry career coach, the Greenlight Coach, visit www.theGreenlightCoachBlog.com

Question 136: You say know "everybody," but I gotta tell you, there are some weird people in our business! What if I don't want to know them?

You know the old saying, "don't judge a book by it's cover?" Well, it's okay to judge weird people and not choose to form a relationship with them. What I mean by "everybody" is, "don't judge a person by their classification." Most people tend to only network with people in the same classification/union or with the people who can hire them. What they don't recognize is that there are people out there in other classifications who may not be able to hire them, but know the people who can. And someone who is not in your classification is far more likely to share his/her contacts with you than someone who is the same classification as you.

So when I say everyone, I don't mean that literally... Lord knows I don't! I simply mean know people in all classifications. And don't feel badly for the people you consider "weird," they find each other and create relationships. Like attracts like and everyone is happy.

For more tips and articles by top entertainment industry coach, the Greenlight Coach, visit www.thegreenlightcoachblog.com

Question 88: Is late 20's too late to join the party? see blog for detailed question

Actual Question: A friend has just moved out to LA from NYC and been offered a job at a great entertainment company but the pay (of course) is low. It's an assistant position with potential to grow but she's wondering if she should take it even though it's not exactly what she wants to do. She's late twenties so she's also worried that she's late to the party so to speak but knows she has to start at the bottom. What are your thoughts? 

You used the word "great" when describing the entertainment company. As a coach I deal with tools and strategies. My strategy for someone in her late twenties, who wants to break into the business, is to meet as many people as she can. Working at a great company gives her access to a lot of great people. If she has the tools to make something of these relationships, as opposed to simply sitting behind a desk for a year doing her job, she can really get into a great position. Then, in a year,  she can pursue exactly what she wants with 200 relationships in her rolodex. That's if she works smart. 

After working in development myself for 8 months as well as coaching clients who work for producers or agencies, I highly recommend this strategy. There are a lot of benefits. I could be more specific about the benefits if I knew what type of company it is.

For more tips and articles by top entertainment industry coach, The Greenlight Coach, visit www.thegreenlightcoachblog.com 

Question 7: How do I stay in contact without being a pest?

I've heard this question asked in many forms:

How do I politely stay in contact?

How do I avoid being a pain in the a$$?

How can I let people know I'm available without being annoying?

Here's the thing... It's your job as a freelancer in the entertainment industry, to let people know you're out there and looking for work.  Working people understand this and even expect it.  Therefore, get rid of words like "pest," "annoying," "pain in the..." and simply ask me: 

"How do I effectively stay in touch with my contacts?"

To effectively stay in touch with contacts, you must be proactively BUILDING your relationship as opposed to simply asking for work and letting them know you're available.  As long as your focus is on the relationship, you are being professional.  As I often suggest, put yourself in their shoes.  How often would you want to be called if you were working an 80-hour week? And what would prompt you to return a call?  

Give them a reason to call you back!  

For more tips and articles by The Greenlight Coach, visit www.TheGreenlightCoachBlog.com