entertainment industry coach question 308: How do I deal with people in power, making advances when I'm not interested?

The actual question read: As a young female in the business, I find myself having to deal with flirty men a lot. While I have no interest in them romantically, I can't rule out the possibility that today, or even down the road, they can help to get me a job, as I rely on others and word of mouth. How do I handle these situations without having to lie about being in a relationship or loose the possible connection?

Because this affects both genders in more ways than one, I thought I'd answer it in a more general way. While this does run rampant in our industry, it is by no means exclusive to our industry. You could handle these situations with confidence, humor, and grace. It's actually very personal.

While I'm sure I've experienced this, I can't recall a time, because I always charm my way out of these uncomfortable situations using humor. That's my personal style. The bottom line is, if the only reason I was going to get hired was if I "went above and beyond the call of duty," I wouldn't trust the person who was putting me in that position. Not that I would do it, I'm just saying, who's to say that they're going to follow through after you do?

Did I mention I hate this subject? It comes up a lot and I've put it off until question 308... geeesh.

Anyway, if you do not choose to sleep your way to the top (though some are fine making that choice), then stay away from the sleezeballs that will put you in that position. If it's not a sleezeball, but someone who is genuinely interested in you, and the feelings aren't mutual, tell him/her that you start all relationships by getting to know someone as a friend. Then you can maintain the relationship, and either enjoy a blooming friendship, or perhaps your feelings will grow into more. If it's as you say, "flirty men," flirt back. Two can play at that game. Just know when to put the brakes on. Model a Texan Gal... they're fantastic at it!

Perhaps a Relationship Coach or a Human Resource Person can chime in, in my comments section.

For more tips and articles by top entertainment industry career coach, the Greenlight Coach, visit www.TheGreenlightCoachBlog.com

entertainment industry coach question 298: Does it ever get easier being away from your family on the holidays because of work?

I would imagine not, if you have the kind of family who has a big traditional holiday celebration. You will always be missing out on the memories and the time spent with those you love, on the years you can't be with them.

I made a choice to move away from my parents and friends when I came to California. It was a sacrifice that had to made to pursue my career. Does it get easier to be away from them? Quite the contrary, it gets harder every year.

I've often written about the "nature of our industry" and weighing the pros and cons. If you were not born in Southern California and had to relocate here for work, leaving behind family and friends, that may be a huge "con" for you. It's a choice.

My suggestion to you is that you make the time to see your family in between jobs and be very present in every moment that you're with them. Create memories, and cherish the time you spend with them. You may find that you are in fact lucky compared to those who have their family near by, and quite possibly take them fore granted.

Again, it's all how you choose to live your life and treat the people in it.

For more tips and articles by top entertainment industry career coach, The Greenlight Coach, visit www.TheGreenlightCoachBlog.com

question 174: How do you answer the question: "What are you working on?" when you're not working on anything?

My sister works in ad sales. There are some days that she sells an ad space. Let's equate those days to the days that you are working on a job. The rest of the days, if her boss were to ask her, "What are you working on?" her answer would be all of the appointments she's making, the new business she's working on breaking, the relationships with clients she's developing. I could go on and on about everything my sister is doing when she's not on "the" call getting the news that a client is buying ad space.

So, what do you mean "you're not working on anything"? If you aren't doing business when you're not on a "job" than you're not working right. If you are working right, then you can answer the question based on what you're working on. People know this is a freelance industry. They don't expect you to be on a project at all times. But if you're not confident about what to do when you're not on a job, then you should get coaching, because you can be "working" all of the time.

For more tips and articles by top entertainment industry coach, The Greenlight Coach, visit www.TheGreenlightCoachBlog.com

Question 59: Question: How do you know who to contact about getting a job when the job you want is not posted on any website?

I wonder how you found out about a job that isn’t posted on a site. Whoever gave you the lead is where I would start.

 

Let me rephrase this question to help a larger scope of people.

 

How do you pursue a job that you want, when there’s currently no opening?

 

You create relationships with as many people on the show/project/company as you possibly can. This way when a job does open, you’re top of mind.

 

Tips:

1.    Create a target list of 10 shows/projects/companies

2.    Contact 1-5 people per show/project/company as a mentor

3.    Continue to build and deepen the relationships

For more tips by entertainment industry coach, The Greenlight Coach, visit:

www.theGreenlightCoachBlog.com