Question 160: I'm an actress and my boyfriend doesn't want me to kiss anyone in a scene. Is this normal?

I TOTALLY went through this when I graduated college and my boyfriend at the time didn’t want me to kiss guys during my scenes in acting class. Yes, it’s normal. No, it’s not realistic. You may get cast in a role where you have to kiss someone. It’s your job. If you’re kissing Brad Pitt, it’s one of the “perks” of your job. Kidding… no I’m not.. yes I am.. sort of…

You always hear actors say, “it’s not romantic/sexual at all. You’re surrounded by people… etc. etc.” Here’s the thing, I did a film where for weeks in rehearsal I was SO attracted to my co-star, I couldn’t wait for the scene where I got to kiss him! I think we did two takes and the kiss was as sexless as a high-five from a bag lady (yeah, I don’t know what that analogy means either, it’s late). The irony is, what the “significant others really should be worried about is the intimacy and attraction that can form between actors when they are playing parts where they are in love (or lust). The job of an actor is to really feel the feelings of love and the line between feelings can get blurred. So, the kiss should be the least of your boyfriend’s worries. But don’t tell him that, because that won’t help your cause. Trust is the key to a good relationship… I think. Who knows, that’s why I’m a career coach and not a relationship coach. Good luck with this one.

For more tips and articles by top entertainment career coach, The Greenlight Coach, visit www.TheGreenlightCoachBlog.com

Question 159: How do I get someone who is working for free to get me the work faster?

You really have no leverage when you’re not paying someone. They are working for free which probably means they have other work to do to bring in an income. If you have a deadline, pre-frame that up front, discuss the schedule in detail, and be sure they can agree. Have a back-up person just in case.

You are not the only one with this question. The key is good communication and having back-up plans so you don’t get frustrated with a person who is trying to help you. You also have to know when it’s time to pull the project from the person and go to your back-up plan. If you wait until the very end, when there’s just a little to do, people can get very sensitive about sharing a credit. I repeat, good communication.

For more tips and articles by top entertainment career coach, The Greenlight Coach, visit www.TheGreenlightCoachBlog.com

Question 158: what day of the week is best to call someone?

You’ll never know until you ask. And even if they tell you: “Thursday is best for me,” you may still catch them on a Thursday where everything is upside down. Call people when you think you’ll get them in and then ask them if it’s a good time for them to talk. If they say that it’s not, ask when a good time for you to call back will be.

For more tips and articles by top entertainment career coach, The Greenlight Coach, visit www.TheGreenlightCoachBlog.com

question 157: what is the minimum number of people I should know?

why are you asking about minimums? It sounds like you want to meet as few people as possible. I always suggest a minimum of 100 people to my new clients who only know a few people. That works out to meeting less than 10 people per month over the course of one year. I encourage them to be strategic about who they meet, in other words, focus on meeting people who can hire you or know people who can hire you.

That said, I'd like to address the "wanting to meet as few as possible." There are so man GREAT people in our industry to meet. I know what you're thinking, I've heard it all. People in each classification have their schtick: Editors: we like to be alone in dark rooms. Camera: There's a reason we're behind the camera. Writers: we write so we don't have to talk to people. Actors: I'm fine when I'm in charater, but I don't want to meet people if I have to be myself. And on and on...

I've heard every classifications reasons for not enjoying meeting people including the old faithful "I'm shy." The bottom line is, it's necessary for your career, so instead of filling your head with reasons you don't wa"nt to meet people, ask yourself, "Who can I meet today, whose life I can change for the better?" Ask better questions and you'll get better results.

For more tips and articles by top entertainment industry coach, The Greenlight Coach, visit www.thegreenlightcoachblog.com

question 156: What's better: calling a person or emailing a person?

In earlier questions I talked about creating rapport and communication. I wrote that communication is broken down by: 7% the words you say, 38% the tonality with which you say them, and the rest of the 55% is your physiology. Therefore, the best way to communicate with someone is in person, then by telephone, and lastly by email (I'm sure you've had a situation where someone misunderstood an email because they couldn't "hear your tonality" and didn't realize you were making a joke).

That said, whenever possible, ask the person how they, specifically, like to be contacted.

For more tips and articles by top entertainment industry coach, The Greenlight Coach, visit www.thegreenlightcoachblog.com

Question 155: I got offered a job on location for a long time (6mths-yr). How do I work it out with my family?

First, congratulations on the job offer! Now you have what I refer to as an A-List problem. Some people relocate their family for the year and rent out their local place. If that's not an option for you, the alternative is to have your family come out to visit, you come home to visit when possible, Skype, and most of all... good communication.

1. Talk to other people in your classification who go on long location jobs and ask them what they did right and what they'd do differently.

2. Ask your wife and kids what their concerns are about you being gone for so long, so you can put their minds at ease.

3. Make a plan for a family (or spouse) vacation when you return*

*planning a vacation can sometimes be a work magnet. Let your family know this in advance so you set it up to be a win/win. If you go on vacation it will be great, if you get another job it will be great.

Location work can be a great strain on a family if there isn't good communication. There are plenty of other jobs in this country where a spouse/parent is on the road for long periods of time like truckers, fishermen, pilots, military, and cruise ship personnel. In those careers, the family knows what to expect. It's important that entertainment industry families know what to expect, as well.

For more tips and articles by top entertainment industry coach, The Greenlight Coach, visit www.thegreenlightcoachblog.com

question 161: What do I do with the contacts I met at ITV Festival?

You follow up with them. It takes 3 conversations to create a relationship. You've met them once, now you have to have 2 substantial conversations (where you don't ask for work), over the next two months, in order to maintain the relationship.

Contact them regarding something you spoke about or ask for some business advice and guidance. If anyone asked you to send something to them, be sure to do it!

Keep notes on your contacts and conversations.

For more tips and articles by top entertainment industry coach, The Greenlight Coach, visit www.thegreenlightcoachblog.com

Question 154: How old do you have to be to break into the business and do you need a degree?

No, you do not need a degree for most areas of the entertainment industry. People who tend to have them are executives, agents, and creative people whose parents made them go to college to have something "practical to fall back on." If you know specifically what you want to do in the entertainment industry, it is very important for you to train in your skill of choice and be up to date on all technology that applies to your craft. You also need to invest in understanding the "business side of the business." That's where I come in www.theGreenlightCoach.com

How old do you have to be? That depends on what area of the entertainment industry you want to be in. Infants and beyond can be actors. Most other classifications that pay, have labor laws that pertain to age. I'm making an assumption that you're young, so I will say, that if you have the opportunity to intern as a youth, it's a great opportunity. If you want to be more specific about what you're interested in doing, I can give you a more specific answer.

For more tips and articles by top entertainment industry coach, The Greenlight Coach, visit www.theGreenlightCoachBlog.com

question 153: Does the same apply to TV? There's so much to watch and so much of it's bad!

This was a comment/question in response to yesterday's question. And the answer is a little different. The answer in TV is: YES definitely. That said, you don't have to TIVO and watch every episode of every show (except 24. YOU MUST watch every episode). But, you have to watch just enough to know the genre, pace, characters, style, etc. (pertaining to your classification).

If you're a camera operator and you get called in to day play on Desperate Housewives, it's going to be a very different style of operating than 24 (yes, that's 2 plugs for my favorite show). An actor going in to audition for House is different than auditioning for MadMen.

Even in reality, there's a difference between editing The Housewives of Orange County and Top Chef. Like yesterday's post, it's research. It's your job to know what you're talking about in your area.

For more tips and articles by top entertainment industry coach, The Greenlight Coach, visit www.thegreenlightcoachblog.com

question 152: I work in movies but I don't go see movies. Is that bad?

I suppose it depends on a few factors. I recently coached an editor who spends most of his time in a dark room editing movies and in his spare time wants to do something else. Can you blame him? That said, you are the CEO of your company and you have to make the best decisions for your company. If the CEO of McDonald's wasn't staying current on what was going on in the fast food industry, he wouldn't have kept it competitive. Now McD's serves coffee drinks and "healthy choices." So, do you want to be up to date and current in your industry?

I love romantic comedies, but to me, the classics are Pretty Woman, Working Girl, and While You Were Sleeping. When some of my clients hear this, they reprimand me for missing the classics of their generations. If I'm going to continue to market myself as the "romantic comedy girl," I have to at least give these older classics a chance (even though nothing can beat Pretty Woman!)

Unless you have a specific reason, like the editor, why wouldn't you support the people and the medium that keeps you working?

For more tips and articles by top entertainment industry career coach, The Greenlight Coach, visit www.theGreenlightCoachBlog.com

question 151: should I be telling people about a movie with a great cast but didn't do well in the box office?

You should always talk about anything you're proud of. If there was an exact science to a box office success... but there's not. Accentuate the positive.

The same goes for movies/TV you've worked on that you're not proud of, yet monopolize your resume. In those cases, you focus on something that was wonderful about the project. Was it shot in a cool location? Did you meet your wife on the set? Was there a scene that was a great challenge or that you "saved the day" on?

When your credits come up, you're either making conversation or you're in an interview. If it's the later, they already know your resume. In both situations, people are just trying to get to know you, so be yourself and talk about the moments you cared about.

For more tips and articles by top entertainment industry coach, The Greenlight Coach, visit www.thegreenlightcoachblog.com