question 186: How do you deal with a boss you can't stand? part 2

Okay, so I have more details from yesterday's question asker. He works in a "department" where his boss (the head of the department) is a screamer, who emotionally and even physically injures people. That said, his boss is hugely "in demand," so the person who asked me this question fears leaving because the perks of working in this department are: lots of money, good contacts for the future when he moves up in classification, steady work, and the rest of the crew are like family.

So here are some tips for tolerating your boss:

1. Immediately start building relationships outside of your "crew family" so that you may find yourself in an equally prestigious work opportunity with a better boss. Part of this is to be meeting people that make you happy and inspire you.

2. Start planning for your future by building a reel. This will make your current job feel like a day-job while you pursue something you're more passionate about. Create a 1-2 year plan to be out of there! It will give you something to live for (I'm being dramatic, but as I said yesterday, I've been there).

3. Because you said he is a screamer, but never mentioned you feel your job is in jeopardy, recognize that he's just a schmuck and his screaming is due to lack of management skills and most likely a small.......... sense of self. I know, that doesn't help in the moment, HOWEVER, on top of recognizing this, I want you to create an emotional anchor* that you can fire off when he's done.

What's most important is your health! Working for someone like this can literally be hazardous to your health because of suppressed emotions and stress. So you MUST find a healthy outlet.

*an anchor is a tool to change your emotional state. For more information on how to create an anchor, contact me or order my book And...Action! at Amazon.com

For more tips and articles by top entertainment industry career coach, the Greenlight Coach, visit www.theGreenlightCoachBlog.com

question 185: How do you deal with a boss you can't stand?

Soooo many answers to this question. Unfortunately, this general question leads me to a series of more questions:

1. Do you need the job for: the income, the prestige, the education, the connections, etc?

2. What are the underlying feelings for your boss: unhealthy stress, anger, jealousy, resentment, fear, insecurity, etc?

3. Have you pursued other opportunities?

You see, I can advise you on how to change your perspective and make your workplace tolerable (Lord knows I have YEARS of experience doing that), but I need more information to understand why you're choosing to stay in a job with a boss you can't stand.

I look forward to hearing from you or anyone else in this situation in my comments section. More to come on this topic...

For more tips and articles by top entertainment industry career coach, The Greenlight Coach, visit www.theGreenlightCoachBlog.com

question 184: I reached out to a mentor using your system and haven't heard back. Do I just give up?

If you're using my system, I'm assuming you've followed up and aren't just waiting to hear from the person. I usually suggest following up 3 times, the 3rd, letting them know that it's your 3rd time contacting them, and that perhaps they're working or out of town, and if they are interested in mentoring you, you'd be thrilled to hear from them whenever they're available, and if not, you won't be following up again. And thank them again for their consideration.

That said, since you're following my system, I'm also assuming you sent out multiple letters and didn't put all of your eggs in one basket, right? Right?....

Hmmmm. If not, get back on that horse and reach out to multiple people. All it takes is one YES to make your day and possibly your career : )

It's a numbers game, and if you only reach out to one person and that person doesn't respond, you can get very discouraged. And when that happens it can set you back and start the negative conversations in your head. Push through! There are people out there who want to give back, to contribute, and to share their knowledge. The right ones will connect with your requests.

For more tips and articles by top entertainment industry coach, The Greenlight Coach, visit www.theGreenlightCoachBlog.com

question 183: I'm a college student and I don't know what to expect if I come out to LA to be a screenwriter. Can you tell me?

I'm so glad, that as a college student, you recognize that there are expectations to address. Too many people move to LA with unrealistic expectations and then give up quickly when they're not met.

My advice is to expect what you can control:

1. Expect to find a job that will give you financial stability (this may or may not be in the entertainment industry- see a previous post when I covered industry jobs for writers)

2. Expect to commit to a writing ritual- in other words how much writing do you plan to do and how often?

3. Expect to invest in your career- this may mean joining networking organizations, becoming a guild member, taking educational courses for both your craft and your business, and the material costs of having a writing business

4. Expect to update your material often, adding to your writing portfolio- this may mean new scripts or re-writes on older ones

5. Expect to be a business which, like a business in any industry, requires relationships, product, marketing, patience, perseverance, and a team (just to name a few)

Even though I answered this for a writer, this blog applies to all classifications in the entertainment industry.

for more tips and articles by top entertainment industry career coach, the Greenlight Coach, visit www.thegreenlightcoachblog.com

question 182: Is the industry really slow right now?

This is a question I've been getting for YEARS! My response has always been the same. For the people who are working, it's not slow. Whether there's a lot going on or not, isn't really the issue, because if you're not working it doesn't matter. So basically, if my answer is "yes" then you can create an excuse like, "oh, well then that explains why I'm not working." Or if I say "no," you can beat yourself up with, "why am I the only one not working?" Either way, it's a lose/lose scenario.

Therefore, instead of worrying about whether the town is busy or slow, focus on what you can be doing for your business, daily. Get into the routine of working so you always feel busy. Have meetings, do set visits, and go to networking events.

For more tips and articles by top entertainment industry career coach, The Greenlight Coach, visit www.TheGreenlightCoachBlog.com

question 181: I don't want to be friends with people I work with. I just want to be hired to do my job and have my friends separate. How do I do that?

I'm the wrong coach to ask this question because I'm not going to tell you how to do that. I'm going to tell you to change your attitude. I'm not saying you have to be best pals with the people you work with. You don't have to have family barbecues with them and spend your vacations together, but what's wrong with "work friends." For years I worked in offices, and while I didn't socialize with many of my fellow employees outside of the office, I was friends with them at work.

Everything in the entertainment industry takes a LONG time; development, pre-production, production, post. If people have to spend a lot of time together, they prefer to spend that time with people they like. Aren't you likable? If not, like I said, change your attitude. This sounds like a question with a built-in defense mechanism. Open yourself up to the possibility of working with people you like and who like you.

For more tips and articles by top entertainment industry career coach, The Greenlight Coach, visit www.TheGreenlightCoachBlog.com

Question 180: How do I become a film director?

This question was a comment on yesterday's post. Again, this is a question of art/talent, as opposed to career coaching. I don't teach you how to direct, I teach you how to get work once you know how to direct. So, I'll give you some advice for getting started:

1. Get director mentors

2. Read Sidney Lumet's book MAKING MOVIES (that was the first assignment from my directing mentor)

3. Watch/listen to the director commentary on DVDs of movies you like

There's a lot of research that can be done before you even get creative as far as reading articles, visiting www.dga.org, reading books, and researching online director forums. In the mean time, if you do have a video camera and a computer to edit on, start discovering your voice.

For more tips and articles by top entertainment industry career coach, the Greenlight Coach, visit www.thegreenlightcoachblog.com

Question 179: Can I teach myself to be an editor on my Mac or do I need more skills?

This is more of a technical question than a career coaching question, but I'll give you a career coaching answer. You can teach yourself to be an editor on a Mac, you can watch their tutorials, you can even go into the Mac store (one of my favorite places on earth). The question is: What is your long term goal as an editor? Do you want to work in the entertainment industry at the Union Level? Until I know where you want to be, I can only advise you to seek out mentors who are working editors and ask them what skills you need, what equipment you need to know how to use, and anything else that pertains to the the type of work that you want to do.

For more tips and articles by top entertainment industry career coach, the Greenlight Coach, visit www.thegreenlightcoachblog.com

Question 178: How do I figure out if I should pursue a career in entertainment?

Research, research, research! Millions of people have dreams of making it in the entertainment industry. The majority will never do more than dream. Like in every industry, there are pros and cons to the entertainment industry.

Here are some tips:

1. Write down what you want to do in the industry AND the expectations of what you think you'll be doing in that job.

2. Write down your expectations of what it will be like to work in entertainment; the time frame until you're working steadily, the hours worked, the pay scale, and everything else you imagine a career in entertainment to be.

3. Go on entertainment industry forums and get people's feedback on your expectations.

Now, people may be brutal if your expectations are completely unreasonable, but don't be discouraged. If you truly want to pursue your dream, get lots of opinions on others' experiences working in the business. If you are still discouraged, contact me, and we can discuss your particular situation. Remember, sometimes people have their own agenda for discouraging you. I will always encourage you, I'll be realistic and honest in an encouraging way.

For more tips and articles by top entertainment industry career coach, the Greenlight Coach, visit www.thegreenlightcoachblog.com

Why people who don't know you won't hire you

question 177: What's the most humiliating job you've ever taken for supplemental income?

Uhhhhhhh... I was saving this for my first David Letterman appearance, but I suppose I can give all of you "my insiders" the first audience. I had been in Los Angeles for two years working as a waitress and decided, "That's it! If I'm going to be working and not getting auditions, I may as well be working in a place where I'm meeting people in high places."

So, I got into the temp pool at MGM/UA and began creating relationships with all of the big wigs because I was on the top floor. After almost 6 months of developing relationships with people and discussing development, production, post, publicity, marketing, and even acting, the human resources woman told me she had a special job for me, where I'd get to meet everyone in the company. I was SO excited.

CUT TO:

EXT: MGM/UA OUTDOOR PARK AREA- DAY

Me in a stupid outfit, serving birthday cake for "Leo the Lion's" first birthday party. Yes, I put on a smile as the big execs that had treated me like an up and comer for 6 months, started barking orders about wanting an "end piece" or "just a sliver because she's on a diet," or "cut the piece from the center so I can have a piece of the Lion's head." I mean really! It was utterly humiliating.

The next week I found myself in a small windowless room with 3 other temps stuffing W2 forms. I came across Brad Pitt's in my pile and shoved it in my bra for the remainder of the day before mailing it off to his accountant (with a lipstick free kiss). I suppose that's the closest Brad Pitt will ever be to my boob.

Not the most educational blog entry, though I hope it amused you and will inspire you to share your least favorite "make-a-buck-jobs-to-survive" with this person who is clearly torn about a job he may potentially take.

For more tips and articles by top entertainment industry coach, The Greenlight Coach, visit www.thegreenlightcoachblog.com