Thursday, May 14, 2009

Question 72: I've recently suffered the loss of my spouse, is this something I should share?

First, I want to express my sincere sadness for your loss. And that is what will happen, either people won't know what to say, or they'll immediately feel sympathy. How can we not? As humans, losing someone we love is one of our greatest fears. So, allow people, to express their sympathy, empathy, and even allow them their discomfort. 

That said, you are going to be experiencing feelings that as a career coach, I'm not qualified to help you with. However, as a career coach I can tell you, that my gut reaction is to offer help. I believe this would be most people's gut reaction.

Allow people to help. More than that, tell them what you need. If you need to get working again, so that you'll be out of your house, surrounded by passionate people- tell them. 

What's important is "who you're being" when you ask for help. Many people become victims, and while understandable, it's not a quality people are looking for when they're hiring. Therefore, ask from a place of strength, even if you're crumbling inside.  Powerfully ask for help in regards to work. When you are hired, stay focused and professional. After the day is done, turn to your support system, those who create the space for you to be fragile and vulnerable. 

Don't share what's going on in your life if you are so fragile that it will guilt-trip people. But when you are ready, when you can handle it, I think it's okay to share what's going on in your life if you're coming from a powerful place of wanting to keep going and stay connected to what you love to do. 

For more tips and articles by top entertainment industry coach, The Greenlight Coach, visit 

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