Monday, January 4, 2010

entertainment industry coach question 308: How do I deal with people in power, making advances when I'm not interested?

The actual question read: As a young female in the business, I find myself having to deal with flirty men a lot. While I have no interest in them romantically, I can't rule out the possibility that today, or even down the road, they can help to get me a job, as I rely on others and word of mouth. How do I handle these situations without having to lie about being in a relationship or loose the possible connection?

Because this affects both genders in more ways than one, I thought I'd answer it in a more general way. While this does run rampant in our industry, it is by no means exclusive to our industry. You could handle these situations with confidence, humor, and grace. It's actually very personal.

While I'm sure I've experienced this, I can't recall a time, because I always charm my way out of these uncomfortable situations using humor. That's my personal style. The bottom line is, if the only reason I was going to get hired was if I "went above and beyond the call of duty," I wouldn't trust the person who was putting me in that position. Not that I would do it, I'm just saying, who's to say that they're going to follow through after you do?

Did I mention I hate this subject? It comes up a lot and I've put it off until question 308... geeesh.

Anyway, if you do not choose to sleep your way to the top (though some are fine making that choice), then stay away from the sleezeballs that will put you in that position. If it's not a sleezeball, but someone who is genuinely interested in you, and the feelings aren't mutual, tell him/her that you start all relationships by getting to know someone as a friend. Then you can maintain the relationship, and either enjoy a blooming friendship, or perhaps your feelings will grow into more. If it's as you say, "flirty men," flirt back. Two can play at that game. Just know when to put the brakes on. Model a Texan Gal... they're fantastic at it!

Perhaps a Relationship Coach or a Human Resource Person can chime in, in my comments section.

For more tips and articles by top entertainment industry career coach, the Greenlight Coach, visit

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