Sunday, July 19, 2009
question 139: I'm not in your business, my husband is, and I just don't get it. I'm very frustrated!
This can mean so many things since you didn't exactly put it in the form of a question, however, I want to address the issue in general. Let's talk about people in the entertainment industry... and the people who love them. Some of you readers, may be under the assumption that she's frustrated because:
1. he's never working or contributing financially
2. he's always working, makes a lot of money, but is never home with the family
3. she doesn't understand how someone can be so passionate about something that may never happen
4. she wants him to "grow up and get a real job"
5. his moods are in direct correlation with his work or lack of
I can go on and on. The bottom line is, it doesn't matter what's causing the frustration. Here is a person who loves a man who works in entertainment. Our industry is like all others in that it has its benefits and drawbacks, but that's usually where the similarities end!
Most non-pros (that's what we call anyone who is not in our Biz) whom I talk with, complain about their job, their boss, their hours, and a whole long list of other things. People I talk with in the Biz, complain about being out of work.
You see, Non-Pro... the Biz person you love, is extremely passionate about what he or she does. The Biz person you love is happy when he or she is working. It's when the Biz person is not working that he or she is unhappy or stressed.
What you don't know CAN hurt you. Because you love your Biz people, it's important that you understand what they have to go through to generate work, because quite frankly, they love working and generally, thoroughly dislike having to generate it. Knowing that you love a job with all of your heart and can't do it all the time, pains your soul. Rejection chips away at the psyche. Being torn between taking a job that materializes out of the blue and the planned family vacation, rips your heart out. These are just a few of the sufferings of a person who is pursuing a career in the entertainment industry.
What I'm saying is, take the time to understand the nature of our Biz. The actors I coach whose parents support them, have their parents read my book to understand what they have to go through to get work. I suggest you read every entry in this blog to see what your husband is dealing with and then ask him to tell you the story of when he knew this is the career path he wanted to take. After that ask him to tell you stories about times when he was happiest doing what he does. Watch him light up, hear his joy, feel his passion.
Understand the driving force that people in the Biz have, so even if you don't "get it," you can respect it, or make the decision that this is not the long-term lifestyle that you want.
If you are specifically frustrated by something I didn't address and want further answers, put it in my comment section.
For more tips and articles by top entertainment industry coach, The Greenlight Coach, visit www.theGreenlightCoachBlog.com
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