Thursday, May 13, 2010
entertainment industry coach Question 435:Why is it nearly impossible to make friends in LA who hang out like my friends from FL?
Ironically, I've had this conversation twice this past week, with people from Florida. You Florida people must be very cool to hang out with and very loyal to your friends.
Let me start with this analogy, even though many people in the entertainment industry don't fully relate to it because they didn't need to go to college since they were pursuing an art or a trade.
Most kids (excluding those who were moved around a lot) grow up from elementary school through high school with the same friends, give or take a few. That creates a serious bond. Then they are sent off to college where the first people they meet are those who live on their dorm floor. They tend to gravitate to these people at first because they are close in proximity and all going through the same awkwardness of the lack of familiarity they had with their home friends. These are what are referred to as "Freshman Year Friends." Now, in some cases, people stay friends throughout college, but in most cases, Freshman Year Friends are left behind until you find the people with whom you're truly compatible.
That's pretty much what happened to me and everyone I know in LA. The first two years of friendships were total bombs. But eventually, you find the people you click with.
Now this particular question went further by adding, "If someone calls me it's because they want me to work for them, no one wants to just hang out."
I refer to that as an A-List problem. Getting called for work is a good thing. You're going to have to examine the values of your friends back home in Florida and get really clear on them so when meeting people you can easily identify those who share the values and then make the extra effort to create a friendship. If you've tried this and it's not working, perhaps you should seek friends out of the industry.
Keep in mind, as people get older, their responsibilities change, their time is limited by those responsibilities, and therefore it's more challenging to make friends. But when you do find those few (and really that's all you need) they are SO worth it!
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