If you have a bad day at work, come home in a bad mood, and your significant other gives you a hug to make you feel better, you are creating an "anchor." What happens is, unconsciously, the stronger (negative) emotion is being anchored to your well-meaning significant other. Therefore, every day for a month you do this and viola- you have created a negative anchor to your significant other. You don't know why, but every time you come home, (even when you're not in a bad mood) seeing your significant other puts you in a bad mood. Not good!
To avoid this, you must change your emotional state before you go home- hence today's reader's question. There are many ways to change your state; some quite silly, others quite practical.
*note: the key to a successful change of state is to be sure that the tactic you're using creates a more powerful state than the negative one you're in.
Here are some practical ones:
1. Create your own soundtrack. Ever hear a song that instantly changes your mood because it reminds you of a thrilling time or a great movie? Choose songs that really put you in a good mood, burn them on a disc, and play it in your car on the way home.
2. Vigorous exercise. That's right, do some jumping jacks, run in place, do some "Rocky" style sit-ups, just get those endorphins flowing and sweat out the frustrations of the day.
3. Use your imagination. Close your eyes and imagine a scenario that makes you feel an emotion that is stronger than your bad mood. I suggest having some scenarios thought out when you're not in a bad mood to be used later. This is because when you're in the bad mood it's harder to come up with something that will make you feel better.
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