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Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Question 29: What is rapport? Part 2

Yesterday, I talked about why rapport is important.  Today, I'm going to tell you how to create rapport. It's actually quite simple- rapport is established by matching and mirroring. 

Matching is doing *something* the other person is doing, but in reverse image.

Mirroring is being the "mirror image" of someone. Like when a Yoga teacher in the front of the room, tells the class to stretch to the right.  The teacher, stretches to the left, so they are all going in the same direction. 

What is the *something* you would match or mirror? Here are some examples:

1. Physiology (55%): Posture, facial expressions, and gestures (you can go as subtle as matching their blinking and breathing patterns)

2. Tonality (38%): Voice, pitch, speed, and volume

3. Words (7%): Key words, phrases, common experiences, and associations

When you read about it, rapport may seem unnatural, forced. It's actually something you do all the time unconsciously.  Don't you and your friends use the same "lingo?" Did you ever notice when you're sitting in a group of people, that most people's legs are mirroring or matching? Look next time. You'll probably see 9 out of 10 people in a row with their legs crossed one way or the other if they are in rapport.  When you converse with a friend, whose energy is way up, and he/she is talking a mile a minute, don't you get caught up in it and talk fast too? 

In friendships it happens naturally. Like attracts like. People like to be around people who are like them. 

When you meet new people, consciously (and subtly) going into rapport with them, will connect you faster!

Give it a try...

For more tips and articles by the Greenlight Coach, visit www.TheGreenlightCoachBlog.com

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Isn't this manipulative? I mean f you're thinking about it and intentionally copying someone that seems phony.

TheGreenlightCoach said...

I will answer this in my next question

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