Thursday, April 2, 2009

Question 30: Is creating rapport manipulative and phony?

The actual comment question read, "Isn't this manipulative? I mean, if you're thinking and intentionally copying someone, that seems phony."

Therefore my response to "anonymous" is, "What is your intention?"

The definition of manipulation is: exerting shrewd or devious influence especially for one's own advantage.

Please recall my definition of rapport in Question 28: the presence of harmony, trust, and cooperation in a relationship. 

Anything that I write about, either as the Greenlight Coach or as myself, comes from complete integrity.  I make the assumption that all tools, strategies, and actions I share are used, by my readers, ethically and with the intention of creating win/win results.

Rapport is an excellent tool/skill to have in order to deepen a connection with someone quickly. Therefore be aware of these 2 techniques when going into rapport with someone:

1. Don't imitate them in an obvious way- instead pick up their gestures and phrases, and re-create them in a smaller way, using them subtly.  It's not Simon Sez.  

2. Don't be so focused on creating rapport that you're not engaged in the conversation- instead, pick one thing to mirror (like their posture, or their energy level) and then participate fully in the conversation.

If your intention is pure, you will build rapport.  If your intention is to scam, it will be a transparent plan.  That's my attempt at a rhyme, and now I'm out of time...

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